M'stuck in this bright-ass hellhole with'a buncha fucktards I don't give a shit about, an' it wasn't no good goddamn year in the first place! What're you, stupid?
[and those feelings of happy-shocked surprise u-turn in his stomach again; he's not gonna make it through this weekend without thinking about it, it's fucking impossible. these assholes keep finding out and dragging it back to the front of his mind; how weird it is, without him to celebrate with (he's only ever had one person to celebrate with -- was it even a birthday without that person? did it matter, turning older, if no one you cared about was around to see it?)]
[the pause is long, way too long, and eventually all that gets out is a rather strangled grunt, followed by]
L-like you're normal? Gimme a break.
[but it doesn't have half the bite it should; it's almost shaky (pleasepleasedon't)]
[If there was one thing Gau was good at, it was reading the situation without words- Raikou's avoidance of issues at times and false fronts made it necessary to look for any body language or voice inclinations to tell the truth.
He heard that shakiness, and it said enough. His own tone said his concern for him.]
[and the redhead clamps up at that concern, breath shallow, getting worse vocal indigestion than usual]
[fuck]
I -- I --
[jesus, it's like he's got fucking tourettes, with the way those I's shoot out, all sharp and quick and hard]
I -- I just, a-ain't had a good y-year.
[shit, shitshitshit, he hasn't felt like crying this much since those first few hideous weeks after (after), and this is horrendous, this is totally unacceptable, he's in public, he's on the phone with fucking Meguro and he wants to bawl like a stupid kid over birthdays?]
[he digs his fingers right into the brand-new cut below his knee, redirecting his brain from -- everything]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[voice]
[Get straight to the point yes that'll do well]
Re: [voice]
[what the fuck]
[whose knees does he have to break]
-- No! What? No.
[voice]
[If there was one thing Gau hated, it was getting his facts wrong.]
I don't think Carol-san would lie to me! [Aaaand there's your answer.]
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[voice]
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[is this kid just defiant towards everything or]
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[voice]
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[voice]
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[voice]
So you don't want this?
Re: [voice]
[voice]
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[so kiddish]
[he flushes on the other side of the phone, barking quickly after that unguarded question]
Wh-what the fuck!
[voice]
I didn't tell you what it was! It shouldn't be a surprise that you're getting one, even if you don't deserve one!
Re: [voice]
[this is going poorly; he wishes this phone had a cord, so he could strangle himself with it]
Re: [voice]
[HMPH.]
Have you ever had a normal birthday before, Badou-san?
Re: [voice]
[the pause is long, way too long, and eventually all that gets out is a rather strangled grunt, followed by]
L-like you're normal? Gimme a break.
[but it doesn't have half the bite it should; it's almost shaky (pleasepleasedon't)]
[voice]
[If there was one thing Gau was good at, it was reading the situation without words- Raikou's avoidance of issues at times and false fronts made it necessary to look for any body language or voice inclinations to tell the truth.
He heard that shakiness, and it said enough. His own tone said his concern for him.]
Re: [voice]
[fuck]
I -- I --
[jesus, it's like he's got fucking tourettes, with the way those I's shoot out, all sharp and quick and hard]
I -- I just, a-ain't had a good y-year.
[shit, shitshitshit, he hasn't felt like crying this much since those first few hideous weeks after (after), and this is horrendous, this is totally unacceptable, he's in public, he's on the phone with fucking Meguro and he wants to bawl like a stupid kid over birthdays?]
[he digs his fingers right into the brand-new cut below his knee, redirecting his brain from -- everything]
...Y', y'know?
[voice]
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[voice]
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[voice]
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