badbreak | inbox ♈ hollyheights

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inbox ♈ hollyheights

❝...................is it -- ❞

[ BEEP ]

♈

#1470

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[ speed dial ]
sakamoto
thorfinn
gau
heine

[ TEXT | CALL | MAILBOX | ACTION ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[it's something he's been thinking about lately; his answer is definitive]

yeah i do

i feel like im lying to them

what have they asked ?

nothing
but im playing the normal girl
isnt that a lie?

u r a normal girl who shitty things happened 2

i know
i dont know i feel like
they give me a lot
and i give them nothing

i want to trust them
with it
thats the biggest thing i can give them

they aint asked aint that fucked up they know what its like from both of us she asked me if i got sold she could ask u

exactly
i dont want to answer because im asked
i want to give it to her
i want them to know
i appreciate them enough
to do that

shit dont stay in 1 place u think ur telling just them but soon every1 knows n thinks other shit about u u got no more handle on it i dont trust her

mm
she means well but
she hurts a lot too
because she takes in too much
so she needs shoulders to lean on sometimes

i dont think shed share it
where it could hurt me though

sometimes ppl knowing hurts enough by itself its not her life n u aint owe her nothing i told the wrong guy he never told any1 but i regret it a lot

Edited 2013-09-15 01:46 (UTC)

why did you
decide to tell?

i didnt it was a mistake

then this isnt the same

i know but they wont get it theyll ask u about it after when u dont wanna talk about it theyll act like ur just another fucked up kid they think im fucked up it makes carol n me fight all the time it makes sakamoto drink its not my fault or theirs but it happens itll happen w/ u

well i am arent i?
i know how to manage it but
im still ruined

anyway they wont know any better
unless i let them know me
and they cant know me
if i dont tell them where i started

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wingsit - 2013-09-15 02:24 (UTC) - Expand

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badbreak - 2013-09-15 02:57 (UTC) - Expand

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wingsit - 2013-09-15 03:20 (UTC) - Expand

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badbreak - 2013-09-15 03:41 (UTC) - Expand

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wingsit - 2013-09-15 03:48 (UTC) - Expand

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badbreak - 2013-09-15 14:33 (UTC) - Expand

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wingsit - 2013-09-15 14:57 (UTC) - Expand

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badbreak - 2013-09-15 14:57 (UTC) - Expand

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wingsit - 2013-09-15 15:01 (UTC) - Expand

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badbreak - 2013-09-15 15:03 (UTC) - Expand

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badbreak - 2013-09-15 15:04 (UTC) - Expand

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wingsit - 2013-09-15 15:15 (UTC) - Expand

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badbreak - 2013-09-15 15:15 (UTC) - Expand

no1 deserves 2 know shit they aint made the effort to care about

no i dont think its that
its that they know
how things are
and sometimes its best
not to ask

maybe its best not to tell sometimes i dont know

me neither
i dont know how long to run away from it

its ok to run i know ur brave n shit n care about living n ppl but its not gonna go away

[he thinks about Takasugi.]

if u tell some1 it catches up do u want that ?

i know its not
so i dont want to be running
all my life

no

[ but i'm better at knowing safe places than you are ]

what other choice is there if u dont wanna keep running or let it catch up u cant have both

i can turn around and face it
head on
on my own terms
i dont want it to catch me
when im not ready
but meeting it
that might not be so bad

[she's so brave, it should make him feel like shit. sometimes, it does. mostly, he can't believe someone like this -- someone like her -- actually exists]

[it means different things for them, to face what's haunting them head on. it doesn't make it less terrifying (Badou wants guts, Nill wants love -- both such frightening prospects)]

do u think ur ready