inbox ♈ hollyheights

[badbreak]

❝...................is it -- ❞

[ BEEP ]

♈

#1470
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[ speed dial ]
sakamoto
thorfinn
gau
heine

[ TEXT | CALL | MAILBOX | ACTION ]

Comments

Re: text;

[badbreak]

i dont care
go be her family if u want

Re: text;

[wingsit]

thats not the point

you dont get out on your own
people dont get out on their own

Re: text;

[badbreak]

u think i dont know ?
shes useless 4 that
she dont snoop she dont think she dont kill
if i need something punched a little
n put into fake jail ?
maybe ill call her

Re: text;

[wingsit]

if you ask her
shell help you
if she cant she cant but dont treat her like


she is a good person
you dont waste good people

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[and on the other end of the line, Badou frowns]

i dont need 2 do anything
w/ the ppl here
if theyre good or bad
i just need 2 leave

Re: text;

[wingsit]

i know
but youre here now
and for a while that isnt going away


you work so youre not spending all your time finding a way back
so spend some of it exploring?
people i mean
people are worth more than what they know
it might actually be helpful

Re: text;

[badbreak]

working is finding a way back
i got shit going on

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[but he won't say more about that, instead answering the rest of her text with]

why r u telling me
shit like this
what do u care about what i do

Re: text;

[wingsit]

somebody has to
returning the favour

Re: text;

[badbreak]

u dont owe me shit either

Re: text;

[wingsit]

i know
its not about that
i can tell you why i care but

[ i'm not sure it'll change why you think i probably shouldn't / i don't think it'll explain anything for you / you might just end up more confused / you have to promise not to run away from me

there's too many ways to, so she doesn't finish the sentence ]

Re: text;

[wingsit]

i am your friend

Re: text;

[wingsit]

i want to be your friend

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[it's -- he's not sure what it is that twists uncertainly his gut]

[he's never been told that before]

why

Re: text;

[badbreak]

im not a good person
its fine 2 waste me

Re: text;

[wingsit]

[ she almost goes for something sedate, a simple why not—

opts instead for a list.

nobody ever said it would be easy. ]

because youre not a good person
because youre not a bad person
because you think that wasting you wouldnt be a waste
because wasting you would be a waste
because i enjoy your company
because im scared
because i trust you
because its better to be alone together than on your own
because ive had things that you havent
and i want you to try them too

because you dont care about you
and i do
and im harmless

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[he wants to give weight to some of the statements more than others; because i'm scared and because its better to be alone together in particular. but in flat text like that (no voice to emphasize, to overstate or undercut), knowing the kind of girl Nill somehow has the courage to be, it's impossible; they all read the exact fucking same]

[it should be easier than this, for two kids from the same dark ground (but of course, no one ever said...)]

did u ever hear
of a infobroker named nails

Re: text;

[wingsit]

yes

[it's not exactly a lie. it's not what he means and it's not a full truth but it's not exactly lie. it feels dishonest - but he's opening up, and a no would be just as bad.]

i recognise the name

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[his heart's beating in his fucking throat]

whatd u hear
about him
how recently

Re: text;

[wingsit]

[ honest honest honest it's a mantra and she's frightened ]

i heard he dug too deep
and it backfired
not that long ago

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he fucking dead]

[he can't ask it]

[and why would she know, how could he ever believe her]

[it's all just whispers and rumours, he wouldn't be able to see a body (he never found one, he looked, he looked everywhere when he wasn't too hungry to walk or too scared to move -- )]

Re: text;

[badbreak]

what else

Re: text;

[wingsit]

[ can she say it? can she tell him what she knows? what he's told her? will that help him at all? is honesty kind here? ]

thats all

[ her bravery doesn't stretch this far. ]

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[ -- and his insides feel like they've been torn up by stray dogs]

[that's all the street might say, but it's not, it's fucking not -- there were monsters in his home, now there are monsters in his head]

[and his brother is still lost(ishedead) in the darkness (ishefuckingdead)]

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