inbox ♈ hollyheights

[badbreak]

❝...................is it -- ❞

[ BEEP ]

♈

#1470
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[ speed dial ]
sakamoto
thorfinn
gau
heine

[ TEXT | CALL | MAILBOX | ACTION ]

Comments

Re: text;

[wingsit]

i want to be your friend

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[it's -- he's not sure what it is that twists uncertainly his gut]

[he's never been told that before]

why

Re: text;

[badbreak]

im not a good person
its fine 2 waste me

Re: text;

[wingsit]

[ she almost goes for something sedate, a simple why not—

opts instead for a list.

nobody ever said it would be easy. ]

because youre not a good person
because youre not a bad person
because you think that wasting you wouldnt be a waste
because wasting you would be a waste
because i enjoy your company
because im scared
because i trust you
because its better to be alone together than on your own
because ive had things that you havent
and i want you to try them too

because you dont care about you
and i do
and im harmless

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[he wants to give weight to some of the statements more than others; because i'm scared and because its better to be alone together in particular. but in flat text like that (no voice to emphasize, to overstate or undercut), knowing the kind of girl Nill somehow has the courage to be, it's impossible; they all read the exact fucking same]

[it should be easier than this, for two kids from the same dark ground (but of course, no one ever said...)]

did u ever hear
of a infobroker named nails

Re: text;

[wingsit]

yes

[it's not exactly a lie. it's not what he means and it's not a full truth but it's not exactly lie. it feels dishonest - but he's opening up, and a no would be just as bad.]

i recognise the name

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[his heart's beating in his fucking throat]

whatd u hear
about him
how recently

Re: text;

[wingsit]

[ honest honest honest it's a mantra and she's frightened ]

i heard he dug too deep
and it backfired
not that long ago

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he fucking dead]

[he can't ask it]

[and why would she know, how could he ever believe her]

[it's all just whispers and rumours, he wouldn't be able to see a body (he never found one, he looked, he looked everywhere when he wasn't too hungry to walk or too scared to move -- )]

Re: text;

[badbreak]

what else

Re: text;

[wingsit]

[ can she say it? can she tell him what she knows? what he's told her? will that help him at all? is honesty kind here? ]

thats all

[ her bravery doesn't stretch this far. ]

Re: text;

[badbreak]

[ -- and his insides feel like they've been torn up by stray dogs]

[that's all the street might say, but it's not, it's fucking not -- there were monsters in his home, now there are monsters in his head]

[and his brother is still lost(ishedead) in the darkness (ishefuckingdead)]

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