Like fifty percent of that was gibberish to me, just let me know if I'm going the wrong way.
[and with the boundless enthusiasm of the inexperienced gamer, she arrives (at a noisy sprint) at the source of the undead groans -- and, yes, the building clearly marked "hospital" -- and starts blasting zombies in the face.
until they start to swarm in on her, and her character has to stop and auto-reload, and he's not going fast enough. her food is totally forgotten as she backs him frantically away, leaning forward in her seat.]
Fuck! Reload faster you little bastard!
[BLAM! finally. wow this is escalating. she is getting really intense about this. uh.]
[the way she gets into it is funny, and so are her mistakes in the game itself; Badou sniggers over some sticky chicken at her exclamations]
Ya wouldn't hafta reload so much if ya didn't stampede-ass through the level. They're on tracks, idiot, if ya don't just walk inta every room shootin' ya can actually time it right an' get around some of 'em. They're sound zombies, not smell zombies, you can walk right behind 'em if you're being quiet.
[he accidentally knocks over another box reaching for the pork dumplings container, eye flickering to Carol to see if she noticed -- nope, we're good, seemingly -- and then dumps some sauce all over them, digging in with his fingers]
[she may not be watching, but she hears the soft thunk, and as she cycles through the weapons to get to the coveted ax she tells him offhandedly--]
Pick that up, you slob. Bad at video games and bad at life.
[onscreen, zombie bits and a frankly embarrassing amount of blood fly everywhere as carol cleaves herself a path to the hospital doors and slips inside.]
Re: text
[and with the boundless enthusiasm of the inexperienced gamer, she arrives (at a noisy sprint) at the source of the undead groans -- and, yes, the building clearly marked "hospital" -- and starts blasting zombies in the face.
until they start to swarm in on her, and her character has to stop and auto-reload, and he's not going fast enough. her food is totally forgotten as she backs him frantically away, leaning forward in her seat.]
Fuck! Reload faster you little bastard!
[BLAM! finally. wow this is escalating. she is getting really intense about this. uh.]
Re: text
Ya wouldn't hafta reload so much if ya didn't stampede-ass through the level. They're on tracks, idiot, if ya don't just walk inta every room shootin' ya can actually time it right an' get around some of 'em. They're sound zombies, not smell zombies, you can walk right behind 'em if you're being quiet.
Re: text
[and she very defiantly does not do so, opting instead to blast another zombie in the kidneys, attracting another group of them.]
You know what this game really needs? A flamethrower.
action
You're gonna die before ya get to the third floor.
[chompchompchomp]
Flamethrowers are cool but they ain't shit compared to a ax. No fuel or reloads. I can only do the first couple levels with the ax, though.
Re: action
[this time she actually makes a note of how many shots before reload, skipping back to a safe distance just before she hits it.]
Where's the ax, how d'you switch weapons?
[looks distractedly down at the controller buttons this is a good way to get eaten]
Re: action
[he accidentally knocks over another box reaching for the pork dumplings container, eye flickering to Carol to see if she noticed -- nope, we're good, seemingly -- and then dumps some sauce all over them, digging in with his fingers]
Y'gotta time your swings at the right distance.
Re: action
Pick that up, you slob. Bad at video games and bad at life.
[onscreen, zombie bits and a frankly embarrassing amount of blood fly everywhere as carol cleaves herself a path to the hospital doors and slips inside.]