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[Badou's body, Badou's touch, is defunct and defect; he can only touch in ways that carry pain, rough brotherly elbows and hands, dogs fightingplaying in the dirt, and gentlesilent Nill is not eligible for these activities (she's been handled roughly in ways Badou knows have nothing, nothing to do with actual human contact)]
[they've been cannibalized by the city in different ways, and sometimes their ragged edges don't match; Badou mangles words and cannot bear to be touched, Nill speaks with her hands and cannot bear to speak]
[talk to me, but how?]
Did'ja ever wanna hurt the people that -- did that to you.
[they've been cannibalized by the city in different ways, and sometimes their ragged edges don't match; Badou mangles words and cannot bear to be touched, Nill speaks with her hands and cannot bear to speak]
[talk to me, but how?]
Did'ja ever wanna hurt the people that -- did that to you.
[ she almost goes for something sedate, a simple why not—
opts instead for a list.
nobody ever said it would be easy. ]
because youre not a good person
because youre not a bad person
because you think that wasting you wouldnt be a waste
because wasting you would be a waste
because i enjoy your company
because im scared
because i trust you
because its better to be alone together than on your own
because ive had things that you havent
and i want you to try them too
because you dont care about you
and i do
and im harmless
opts instead for a list.
nobody ever said it would be easy. ]
because youre not a good person
because youre not a bad person
because you think that wasting you wouldnt be a waste
because wasting you would be a waste
because i enjoy your company
because im scared
because i trust you
because its better to be alone together than on your own
because ive had things that you havent
and i want you to try them too
because you dont care about you
and i do
and im harmless
[he wants to give weight to some of the statements more than others; because i'm scared and because its better to be alone together in particular. but in flat text like that (no voice to emphasize, to overstate or undercut), knowing the kind of girl Nill somehow has the courage to be, it's impossible; they all read the exact fucking same]
[it should be easier than this, for two kids from the same dark ground (but of course, no one ever said...)]
did u ever hear
of a infobroker named nails
[it should be easier than this, for two kids from the same dark ground (but of course, no one ever said...)]
did u ever hear
of a infobroker named nails
[is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he dead is he fucking dead]
[he can't ask it]
[and why would she know, how could he ever believe her]
[it's all just whispers and rumours, he wouldn't be able to see a body (he never found one, he looked, he looked everywhere when he wasn't too hungry to walk or too scared to move -- )]
[he can't ask it]
[and why would she know, how could he ever believe her]
[it's all just whispers and rumours, he wouldn't be able to see a body (he never found one, he looked, he looked everywhere when he wasn't too hungry to walk or too scared to move -- )]
Edited 2013-08-13 22:17 (UTC)
[ -- and his insides feel like they've been torn up by stray dogs]
[that's all the street might say, but it's not, it's fucking not -- there were monsters in his home, now there are monsters in his head]
[and his brother is still lost(ishedead) in the darkness (ishefuckingdead)]
[NO RESPONSE]
[that's all the street might say, but it's not, it's fucking not -- there were monsters in his home, now there are monsters in his head]
[and his brother is still lost(ishedead) in the darkness (ishefuckingdead)]
[NO RESPONSE]
[which one of them needs her more right now? the kid is always the priority, no matter how much he hates it, always the kid, but now -- this is something new, in sakamoto, something she doesn't recognize.
which one of them needs her? why can't she choose both?
she can't save everyone. maybe that's true. maybe she can't save any of the people she's come to care about here, maybe they're all too far gone, but she has to try, or what is the point of anything?]
Be careful
Please be careful
which one of them needs her? why can't she choose both?
she can't save everyone. maybe that's true. maybe she can't save any of the people she's come to care about here, maybe they're all too far gone, but she has to try, or what is the point of anything?]
Be careful
Please be careful
[distantly, he thinks he should be having a panic attack, he should be wanting to cry or yell or punch]
[but he's just... not]
[being young is the most stressful experience Badou has ever had, and he's too exhausted to be worked up right now]
then what r u scared of
[but he's just... not]
[being young is the most stressful experience Badou has ever had, and he's too exhausted to be worked up right now]
then what r u scared of
[he thinks of Nill, suddenly; i want to be your friend]
[it's strange, that people should suddenly want to have him around, care about what he does, who he talks to]
[he doesn't know what to do with them, doesn't have room for them (his heart seats, exactly, one)]
ur not important 2 me
sorry
[it's strange, that people should suddenly want to have him around, care about what he does, who he talks to]
[he doesn't know what to do with them, doesn't have room for them (his heart seats, exactly, one)]
ur not important 2 me
sorry
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