what i need 2 gain aint here so theres nothing here that matters except figuring out how 2 leave i dont care about any of it unless its info on that i especially dont care about idiot thugs like kongou bones heal bruises go away he cant hurt me neither can u ur not a bully anyway
No, but you keep splintering at this pace and you'll be irreparable by the time you leave. Don't tell me you haven't been experiencing traumas, Badou. I'm not talking about physical injury.
I got shot in the chest last year. If I'd known then what I do now, I'd have saved myself a lot of time and useless ache. Do you understand?
Take good fucking care of the body that's going to be carrying out your goals. Because if you don't, you will have absolutely nothing left. And there will be no one coming to save you.
[one of the reasons Badou talks to Hiruma, even thought Hiruma's games make him nervous and his friends make him more so, is that Hiruma is smart. Hiruma is, in a sick way, who Badou wants to be, all offense and info and never-blinking in the face of fear]
[right now, Hiruma is admitting to blinking, to becoming frayed. aren't you tired? he'd asked Takasugi. always had been the response. it doesn't feel like that, like battle-weary hate and acceptance of a bleak future; it feels more like advice that doesn't end in a dank hole inside the earth]
when he remembers it's there, when his fingers take to shaking, hiruma catches himself jerking back from words bitten and embittered; dozing, and startled awake. it's difficult, sometimes, to hold onto an infallibility that's never belonged to him.
he's painfully human, painfully average.
there's no excuse in the world for treating people the way he does, treating badou like dirt to make some fucked up ends meet. it's only frightening when he has to remind himself he cares.]
info brokers dont live a long time usually u still do it though
[it's a question and a statement; just how much of a similar animal is Hiruma? he doesn't know, he isn't sure he wants to -- but he's been raised to seek, not find]
Maybe when you start out. It's all speed bumps, potholes and uneven road; flat tires and a shitty paint job. You get better at it. Then you start making your own luck.
No, you retard. If I'm in shit and I want out, you come talk me out — vice versa. Having connections is key; that's our luck. You won't have any if you keep getting your ass kicked, you don't sound lucrative at all! If you want information from someone, you take the shape of what they'd feel comfortable confiding in. It's time to learn to charm some gullible bastards.
[it's a hand held out to him, a call across the void, and he's not sure what changed, or why; Hiruma's actions are more difficult to guess at than the exact number of black eyes he's had throughout his lifetime]
[he wants it, has wanted it -- to have Hiruma as a connection for practical reasons, to have Hiruma to -- look up to, model himself after, associate himself with and grow]
[but there are still too many walls erected in Badou's life to see a path around any single goddamn one of them (it would explain how he keeps breaking his face on them, instead)]
this is badou badou nails ? we met b4 right
[he's not a charming, he's not persuasive, he's not someone who makes others feel comfortable; he's not lucrative, he's not his brother]
[(Hiruma may be extending a hand; will it matter, if Badou still doesn't know how to take it?)]
like ur charming ? ppl just buy in2 ur dumb scary cool guy routine b/c theyre morons
[he wants to say, did being charming stop that bullet to the chest?, but even he isn't tactless enough to let it jump from his mind to his fingertips (thank god for text)]
Doesn't matter if no one's afraid of me, if they think it's routine. People can laugh at me all they like, threaten me all they like — there's nothing I want more. Underestimation is an exceptional tool to take advantage of.
I made a mistake, once. Turned a blind eye to someone I shouldn't have let out of my crosshairs. Think I'll make that same mistake twice? Fuck no.
What about you? Want to keep getting the shit kicked out of you? Adapting to survive is the only thing we can do; weak in body, strong in mind.
I was a little shithead punk until I was ten, then I got smart. How long are you going to wait,? How bad do you want to get strong? Bad enough to want to learn, Nails, of that I'm damn sure.
no subject
so theres nothing here that matters
except figuring out how 2 leave
i dont care about any of it
unless its info on that
i especially dont care about
idiot thugs like kongou
bones heal bruises go away
he cant hurt me
neither can u
ur not a bully anyway
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Don't tell me you haven't been experiencing traumas, Badou.
I'm not talking about physical injury.
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ur bluffing
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What happened to your eye, Badou.
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fucking real bad pink eye
4 all u fucking knw
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If I'd known then what I do now, I'd have saved myself a lot of time and useless ache.
Do you understand?
Take good fucking care of the body that's going to be carrying out your goals.
Because if you don't, you will have absolutely nothing left.
And there will be no one coming to save you.
no subject
[right now, Hiruma is admitting to blinking, to becoming frayed. aren't you tired? he'd asked Takasugi. always had been the response. it doesn't feel like that, like battle-weary hate and acceptance of a bleak future; it feels more like advice that doesn't end in a dank hole inside the earth]
is it a big scar
no subject
mottled skin; phantom burn.
when he remembers it's there, when his fingers take to shaking, hiruma catches himself jerking back from words bitten and embittered; dozing, and startled awake. it's difficult, sometimes, to hold onto an infallibility that's never belonged to him.
he's painfully human, painfully average.
there's no excuse in the world for treating people the way he does, treating badou like dirt to make some fucked up ends meet. it's only frightening when he has to remind himself he cares.]
Bit bigger than a quarter.
Tiny, huh.
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getting 2 close like that
aint tiny at all
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It would've been neat; point blank though, the skin around it just kind of tore in.
[clinical, like a report on someone else.]
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dont live a long time usually
u still do it though
[it's a question and a statement; just how much of a similar animal is Hiruma? he doesn't know, he isn't sure he wants to -- but he's been raised to seek, not find]
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no subject
[it's been hard, lately, to keep believing in the things his world was built of]
power is power
knowing stuff
is mostly just a gamble
it doesnt work
if u got shit luck
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It's all speed bumps, potholes and uneven road; flat tires and a shitty paint job.
You get better at it.
Then you start making your own luck.
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u feeling lucky r/n ?
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Are you?
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tho i aint been shot yet
i guess
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So what if we take care of that.
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If I'm in shit and I want out, you come talk me out — vice versa.
Having connections is key; that's our luck.
You won't have any if you keep getting your ass kicked, you don't sound lucrative at all!
If you want information from someone, you take the shape of what they'd feel comfortable confiding in.
It's time to learn to charm some gullible bastards.
no subject
[he wants it, has wanted it -- to have Hiruma as a connection for practical reasons, to have Hiruma to -- look up to, model himself after, associate himself with and grow]
[but there are still too many walls erected in Badou's life to see a path around any single goddamn one of them (it would explain how he keeps breaking his face on them, instead)]
this is badou
badou nails ?
we met b4 right
[he's not a charming, he's not persuasive, he's not someone who makes others feel comfortable; he's not lucrative, he's not his brother]
[(Hiruma may be extending a hand; will it matter, if Badou still doesn't know how to take it?)]
like ur charming ?
ppl just buy in2 ur dumb
scary cool guy routine
b/c theyre morons
[he wants to say, did being charming stop that bullet to the chest?, but even he isn't tactless enough to let it jump from his mind to his fingertips (thank god for text)]
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People can laugh at me all they like, threaten me all they like — there's nothing I want more.
Underestimation is an exceptional tool to take advantage of.
I made a mistake, once.
Turned a blind eye to someone I shouldn't have let out of my crosshairs.
Think I'll make that same mistake twice?
Fuck no.
What about you?
Want to keep getting the shit kicked out of you?
Adapting to survive is the only thing we can do; weak in body, strong in mind.
I was a little shithead punk until I was ten, then I got smart.
How long are you going to wait,?
How bad do you want to get strong?
Bad enough to want to learn, Nails, of that I'm damn sure.