[and somewhere, in the part of his mind that's not consumed by a soul-crushing panic, Badou knows she's right, and he's being stupid, and crazy, and this is fucking embarrassing because he's not a kid, and he keeps saying he's not scared and it's dead and mangled anyway, he's seen it in shop windows and Hijikata's expression, what does he care if it gets fucked with just a little bit more -- ]
[(but he does care, and his heart is beating like a rabbit's somewhere in the vicinity of Keith's ribcage)]
[his eye focuses on the trick. he's not calmed, not by a longshot, but he is distracted (the brain can't help but focus, after all), his own breathing too loud in his ears; he doesn't know what to do or what's going to happen next]
no subject
[(but he does care, and his heart is beating like a rabbit's somewhere in the vicinity of Keith's ribcage)]
[his eye focuses on the trick. he's not calmed, not by a longshot, but he is distracted (the brain can't help but focus, after all), his own breathing too loud in his ears; he doesn't know what to do or what's going to happen next]