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[for a moment, he entertains it; a world where he goes into the pits and comes out, comes out with Dave, and they get away from the horrible fucking City that Dave wanted to save so badly from itself, and Badou just wanted to burn, burn, burn]
[even in the brief dream, it doesn't make sense -- Dave would only want to fight harder, having seen kids like Heine (he thinks of how he felt, meeting Heine; furious, mostly -- some things would never change). could Badou let him? no. could Badou walk away? no, to that too.]
[and in the back of his head, another scenario; he goes into the pits, comes out, comes out alone -- ]
[ -- no. he'd rather stay down there, he'd rather get swallowed whole by that blackness, if that's how it would be, because there's nothing else he could possibly want, nowhere else he could possibly go, no matter how far Carol took him or how much she tried to love him]
[there's no escaping it, in the end. it's always gonna be him in the cold, cold ground]
[what he says is]
M'already rotten, idiot.
[even in the brief dream, it doesn't make sense -- Dave would only want to fight harder, having seen kids like Heine (he thinks of how he felt, meeting Heine; furious, mostly -- some things would never change). could Badou let him? no. could Badou walk away? no, to that too.]
[and in the back of his head, another scenario; he goes into the pits, comes out, comes out alone -- ]
[ -- no. he'd rather stay down there, he'd rather get swallowed whole by that blackness, if that's how it would be, because there's nothing else he could possibly want, nowhere else he could possibly go, no matter how far Carol took him or how much she tried to love him]
[there's no escaping it, in the end. it's always gonna be him in the cold, cold ground]
[what he says is]
M'already rotten, idiot.
No you're not. No you're not.
[it's a growl, a snarl, a defiance that feels weak in the cold center of her chest (the part reserved lately for badou badou badou), but burns fierce through the rest of her, and the rest of her is more than enough.
carol wants to shout, to shake him, to take a fist to the concrete church steps beside him, do anything to wake him up. she doesn't; just stands there instead, fists and jaw clenched. she feels like she's shaking, isn't sure if she is. it doesn't matter.]
I've seen rotten. I've seen evil, and demented, and fucked up beyond saving, and none of that is you.
[it's a growl, a snarl, a defiance that feels weak in the cold center of her chest (the part reserved lately for badou badou badou), but burns fierce through the rest of her, and the rest of her is more than enough.
carol wants to shout, to shake him, to take a fist to the concrete church steps beside him, do anything to wake him up. she doesn't; just stands there instead, fists and jaw clenched. she feels like she's shaking, isn't sure if she is. it doesn't matter.]
I've seen rotten. I've seen evil, and demented, and fucked up beyond saving, and none of that is you.
Page 92 of 156
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Page 92 of 156