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[Badou was careful before he lost his eye; it hadn't made a difference (he plans on getting deeper into this than even his brother, make all the same mistakes on purpose -- and he doesn't much care if it ends poorly)]
I'll tell you if it's there or not, if you tell me what you were bein' tested for compatibility for. I swear.
I'll tell you if it's there or not, if you tell me what you were bein' tested for compatibility for. I swear.
What's --
[but he stops, because he'd said he'd tell him; it's frustrating, being maybe one question short of answers]
...Ain't no needle mark. Just that big scar.
[the metal had been cold against his fingers -- he wonders where it bolts into, if that scar he'd seen at the top of his neck runs all the way down the other boy's back]
[but he stops, because he'd said he'd tell him; it's frustrating, being maybe one question short of answers]
...Ain't no needle mark. Just that big scar.
[the metal had been cold against his fingers -- he wonders where it bolts into, if that scar he'd seen at the top of his neck runs all the way down the other boy's back]
( shoulders sag in relief; it must have been a dream, he's been here a month already, he couldn't have just forgotten and then remembered and if there's no mark, it couldn't have happened here, where his body's broken and normal. )
Okay. Thanks.
( --and he turns to leave, just like that. )
Okay. Thanks.
( --and he turns to leave, just like that. )
[the obvious relief isn't unnoticed. it's not observed without a raw, irritable kind of sympathy; Badou knows what it's like, to feel so tightly wired that reality and delusion blur. he knows what it's like to wake up at six in the morning in a sudden panic (a sound outside that sounds like junkie-rapists but is only a tree against the window's glass). he knows what it's like to see shadows from the corner of your eye and think horrifying things (tall men black hoods shining masks shining knives shining blood). he knows what it's like to be so tired from the daily grind you lose track of time and somehow end up in the past instead of the present (waking up with a groggy start and instantly wondering if they had enough eggs and milk and bread for two)]
-- Yo.
[Badou might not dream, but he knows when sleep (when dark solitude) is fucking useless]
[his voice is flat, even]
They're asleep, right? Ya wanna watch a movie?
-- Yo.
[Badou might not dream, but he knows when sleep (when dark solitude) is fucking useless]
[his voice is flat, even]
They're asleep, right? Ya wanna watch a movie?
( he shouldn’t. knows one of them is going to wake with a start, mouth opened to scream and eyes wide like they always do, they’ll look for him and he won’t be there, they’ll panic. but they do have phones, they can call or text and he’ll be there as fast as he can and it’s okay, nothing’s attacked them yet, lily’s stronger than him, anyway. could easily protect herself and giovanni if she needed to--especially without that dog in her head to lose to. )
Okay. ( he’d say thanks for the offer, for a goddamn distraction, but he doesn’t. he moves back towards the backdoor, waits for badou to open it because he was told not to go inside just a bit before. ) Don’t touch it again. I’m adding two punches onto your tab, for that.
Okay. ( he’d say thanks for the offer, for a goddamn distraction, but he doesn’t. he moves back towards the backdoor, waits for badou to open it because he was told not to go inside just a bit before. ) Don’t touch it again. I’m adding two punches onto your tab, for that.
[a heavy, startled snort at that, while the redhead turns, opening the backdoor for them]
How many m'I up to? I gotta feelin' you're gonna overdo it.
[nill's been worried, he's not a caretaker, and she's right; the cracks are beginning to show. he wonders if they're all so obvious, if he and nill and heine all look so openly fractured to people who lived under the sun, and smile a lot more]
How many m'I up to? I gotta feelin' you're gonna overdo it.
[nill's been worried, he's not a caretaker, and she's right; the cracks are beginning to show. he wonders if they're all so obvious, if he and nill and heine all look so openly fractured to people who lived under the sun, and smile a lot more]
Maybe you'll think fuckin' twice about what we talked about before, now.
[it's a bit of a sharp dig, uncalled for maybe, but Badou's never been anything but serious about how goddamn repulsive being someone's playthings was; he's seen a lot of it, avoided it all his life with all his energy, and he won't be one now]
[even if here was better than home, people needed to wake the fuck up -- every incident like this could be their lives lost (temporary death didn't mean it wasn't still death, wasn't still something to take seriously)]
...There's probably people on the island with ya, if he's doin' the same shit at each place. I woke up further in an' walked out to find 'em mostly at the shoreline.
[it's a reverse scenario, not all that helpful, maybe -- but all information was useful eventually or potentially (so he'd been taught)]
Uhm. Make sure ya keep a eye on the coast, maybe, so you ain't walk in circles -- or did'ja go inland already? It sounds windy...
[it's a bit of a sharp dig, uncalled for maybe, but Badou's never been anything but serious about how goddamn repulsive being someone's playthings was; he's seen a lot of it, avoided it all his life with all his energy, and he won't be one now]
[even if here was better than home, people needed to wake the fuck up -- every incident like this could be their lives lost (temporary death didn't mean it wasn't still death, wasn't still something to take seriously)]
...There's probably people on the island with ya, if he's doin' the same shit at each place. I woke up further in an' walked out to find 'em mostly at the shoreline.
[it's a reverse scenario, not all that helpful, maybe -- but all information was useful eventually or potentially (so he'd been taught)]
Uhm. Make sure ya keep a eye on the coast, maybe, so you ain't walk in circles -- or did'ja go inland already? It sounds windy...
[The harsh accusation stung more than the bitter frost at his fingertips, and it made his crunching footsteps in the snow stop cold. He had to breathe in short, desperate breaths to get the oxygen needed for the tone he had to convey.
If Badou was here right now, stuck in the freezing wind with him, he'd be in his face, teeth gnashing mere inches from the other boy's. The same effect was achieved by Gau focusing what energy he had into speaking (yelling) into the phone directly-]
...I won't c-change my opinion! Even i-if it's something l-like this!
[The advice is heard, considered and accepted without argument. Gau would save his breath for the arguments that mattered to him. This was one such argument.]
If R-Raikou-san wants to remain here, then I will go through w-whatever the L-Landlord puts me t-through! I will m-make it back to him, f-for as long as he wants to stay here! I-I will not sacrifice his happiness for my own!
[Through death, hell and nothingness and back, he would be with this man.]
If Badou was here right now, stuck in the freezing wind with him, he'd be in his face, teeth gnashing mere inches from the other boy's. The same effect was achieved by Gau focusing what energy he had into speaking (yelling) into the phone directly-]
...I won't c-change my opinion! Even i-if it's something l-like this!
[The advice is heard, considered and accepted without argument. Gau would save his breath for the arguments that mattered to him. This was one such argument.]
If R-Raikou-san wants to remain here, then I will go through w-whatever the L-Landlord puts me t-through! I will m-make it back to him, f-for as long as he wants to stay here! I-I will not sacrifice his happiness for my own!
[Through death, hell and nothingness and back, he would be with this man.]
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